The other day I was going through my Twitter timeline when I saw a tweet that caught my attention and caused me to ponder, eventually resulting in the birth of this post.
In said tweet, someone had asked, “What’s the right answer to give when you’re asked how your night was?” A lot of people replied, some with the normal “fine, thanks.” Others said “we bless God” and it went on and on. However, a particular response, though seemingly sarcastic, seemed to bring the truth of this question to the fore. It said, “I don’t know, I slept through it”.
I laughed and later realised that we (Nigerians) ask some of the most ‘interesting’ questions. I purposely did not use the word ‘dumb’ here because these questions are a norm.
I shall share some of these questions and some sarcastic responses that can go with them.
Scenario 1: It’s raining and you’re about to go out. Your folks or friends ask you “Are you going out in this rain?” Response: “No. I’m waiting for the next one”.
Scenario 2: You are standing at the bus stop waiting for a bus. A friend walks up to you “Are you waiting for the bus?” Response: “No. I just enjoy leaving my house early to stand at this spot and admire passing cars”.
Scenario 3: You are relieving yourself in the toilet and someone knocks the door and tries to open it. It’s obviously locked. And then the person asks, “Is anybody in there?” Response: “No. The shit locked the door and is talking to you”.
Scenario 4: You stumble and fall into a gutter and your leg is bent at an awkward angle. People gather and ask, “Are you okay?” Response: No. I’m just hanging out my leg, waiting for it to dry”. Note: you must have a mighty high sense of humour to say things like this while in pain.
Scenario 5: You are at your office and you find yourself drifting to sleep. You put your head on the desk to snooze for a while. You boss walks up to you, “Are you sleeping on duty?” Response: “No. I am sleeping on my desk”.
Sarcasm is a very wonderful tool if you know how to use it. It brings colour into otherwise boring conversations. Try out some today, but do not hold me responsible for the aftermath.