She will not be remembered for marrying 8 times

8 times! 7 guys! Forget the glamour, beauty, fame and money. The diehard moralist market woman will call her an ashewo. To marry two men in a lifetime is enough crime but to now count, Conrad, Michael, Todd, Eddie, Richard, John and Larry! Ah! Were they clothes that ought to be thrown away once dirty? Well, Todd died and Richard was worn twice.

Millions of women in Nigeria stay with their first husbands even if it means paying the prices of swollen eyes, broken teeth, high blood pressure, perpetual headaches and sudden grip of fear when the warrior knocks. Once a child seals wedlock, they are bound by honour to stay, abuses notwithstanding. 

It is strange really. Such marriages are bad partnerships, assuming marriage is a business. No savvy partner continues in a hurtful partnership. She opts out. It will only be asset sharing after the dissolution; but what assets?

Marriage is no business partnership; it is an institution people get into easily but must go through excruciating and sometimes humiliating processes to get out of. Often on the local TV station, the customary court heads will demand all the rotten nitty-gritty of dead marriages that ought to be buried eternally to ears, to decide whether or not to grant the complainants’ wish.

Having zero option, the couples involved would spew them out, their faces stamped to the floor. The women often come out the shamed. In cases of men that refuse to leave feeding allowance, they still feel ashamed, perhaps for having made the mistake of marrying such. Irresponsibility plays with irresponsibility sort of thinking.

Perhaps it is the stresses that take away the will and zeal of women to leave wrong relationships. If it they, then divorce processes ought to be dignified and made easy. By the way, the two-headed person that wants to advocate positive views of divorce in Nigeria should spent two weeks prior to going public getting bulletproofs. Religions, society and even liberals fearful of ostracism, will fire guns.  

Elizabeth Taylor is beautiful all right but to the market woman with an enviable and commendable lifetime dedication to a man, she is a correct ashewo. But she will not be remembered for marrying 8 times.

She will be remembered as the colourful woman, demigoddess in some quarters, who gave the world pleasurable vibes for more than sixty years, teaching the art of not frowning. She will be remembered as the woman who blazed the trail for actresses when she signed a $1 million contract for Cleopatra in 1960. She will be remembered as the two time AA winner who refused to attend the 75th Academy Awards in 2003 because President George Bush of the United States was waging a wrong war on Iraq. 

She will be remembered for raising $100 million for the campaign against HIV/AIDS, demystifying it with the WE ALL HAVE AIDS four letter word, co-founding the American Foundation for AIDS Research, amfAR and founding Elizabeth Taylors AIDS foundation, ETAF. She will be largely remembered for the largesse of her heart.

Have those not made excusable the 8 times big offence? They have. But hey, don’t marry 8 times! Would not look good on you! Elizabeth, when asked why she did, said “I don’t know, honey. It sure beats the hell out of me.” 80 boyfriends is better for you!